When you feel responsible for a life changing event, regret can weigh you down.

You may focus on negativity and enter a vicious cycle of self-blame.

Despite these destructive properties, regret can also be the motivation that you need to make a positive step toward greater happiness.

Today’s blog addresses how to deal with regret. 

Take responsibility

The lesson in how to deal with regret is to be honest with yourself about your own contribution toward the situation. We can make decisions on a whim that affect the lives of ourselves and others. We can put off a decision until it is too late. Accept the part you played in the events that unfolded and take ownership of your actions. The only way to reconcile yourself to regret is to acknowledge your role.

Treat it as a lesson

Regret can be extremely toxic. But is can also be a profound wake up call. Step two in how to deal with regret is to find the lessons.

Do you need to listen to your instincts more? Do you need to kick an unhealthy habit? Are you too easily persuaded by others? Turn the negative into a positive by understanding exactly why you are feeling regret and eradicating that behaviour.

Take action

Don’t get bogged down in regret. Take whatever action is necessary for you to be at peace with yourself. After all, you only live once (or as the kids are saying, YOLO!).

Are you in need of professional support? Are there some boundaries you need to set? How about a conversation that you need to have?

Some proactive ways to answer the question of how to deal with regret include:

• Addressing toxic relationships: Sometimes the actions that we regret are totally out of character for us, but were inspired by the desires of another. We may have allowed ourselves to be persuaded into doing something that we never thought we would. If you have a toxic friend, it is time to sever ties with that person and to focus on repairing other relationships before you create more regrets.

• Seeking medical help: The actions which we regret the most may have been catalysed by anger issues, substance abuse or another part of ourselves that may require some proactive steps with a medical professional to fix. You can gain more information on free counseling services and support groups in your area on our Support page or through your local GP.

• Apologising and asking forgiveness: If there is somebody in your life who you feel you owe an apology to, it is time to own up to your mistakes and offer it. Let them know that you acknowledge your wrongdoings and that you want to make amends if they are willing to give you a chance. Don’t force the person to forgive you or recall past events when you forgave them. Instead, lay your apology out on the table without strings attached and hope for the best. Sometimes, forgiveness will be impossible at that moment in time. Respect their choice. Let them know that you would be happy to talk if ever they need to, and leave it at that. Over time, fresh wounds will heal, and the person you hurt may be more obliging in the future to let you back into their lives. In the meantime, you have tried your best and done all you can – it’s time to move on.

Let regret go

Once you have taken action, apologised and asked forgiveness, the step in how to deal with regret is to forgive yourself. You need to acknowledge that you have done all you can to rectify the situation. There comes a point where you need to leave the past behind.

Life is too short to spend wondering “What if…”.

We have all made mistakes – it’s what makes us human. 

Now that you know how to deal with regret, it’s time to move on.

The Clarity Road Team