Picture Credit: Sloth Rider
Hello Julie,
How can I make some me time and actually find some sought of reprieve from the busy-ness of life? I am so run down all the time, I feel like I am constantly wound up……Every now and then I snap at things I know I shouldn’t but I just can’t help it. There is no break! De-stress, time for myself……that’s what I need. How can I make this happen? – Dee
Hi Dee,
This is another great question that I’m sure resonates with many women in the Circle of Friends.
A lot of us feel like there are never enough hours in the day – and never enough days in the week! I can relate to you on this level. But I also need to deliver the home truth that there’s no way to milk an 8th day out of the week. Instead, we need to work with what we’ve got.
Ways to make more me time and cut down stress
Schedule me time
Many of us have the wrong attitude to free time. When planning our week, we see it as a luxury rather than a necessity. We don’t schedule it in, but instead hope that it will present itself in between our other jobs. Pretty quickly, the diary fills up and we end up going without. Again.
Just as you would schedule soccer practise, a coffee date or a work meeting, plan your free time. Put aside a couple of hours just for you, and stick to them. Planning ahead will also allow you to get excited for your break and pick an activity before the hour arrives. There’s nothing worse than finding me time and not knowing what to do with it!
Stop taking on another’s stress
Dee, are you taking on the stress of other people in your life? Of a friend whose marriage is on the rocks? Of a co-worker who is struggling to perform? It’s a positive trait to be able to sympathise with someone, but it is also destructive when their problems become your own.
Worrying about something that you can’t control will quickly soak up your free time and drain your energy. It’s okay to be a sounding board. It’s admirable to offer support. Just be sure to maintain a line between your problems and those of others. You have your own fish to fry.
Delegate
I’m getting the sense that you feel like everything is weighing on your shoulders. That your are burdened by all of the responsibility. Does it have to be this way?
Look at the tasks on your list as well as the people in your life. Is there an area in which your partner or kids can pick up the slack? A project that can be split amongst co-workers? A school-run that could be divided between a few mothers?
Sometimes delegating means a tough conversation with someone who needs to start pulling their own weight. In other cases, it means relinquishing control of something that you take pride in. Look at your life objectively and see where change needs to happen to allow more me time.
Most importantly…
Give yourself permission to actually relax and take a time out. There’s no use in creating me time if you use it to do odd jobs! Go the whole hog and put your feet up, make a cuppa, read a book or go for a walk.
Don’t worry that your time should be better spent. Know that it’s okay to take a night off. Cereal for dinner isn’t going to cause your kids any harm. In fact they will probably have the night of their lives.
The hardest part about making me time is allowing ourselves to switch off.
With every good wish,
Julie
