Photo Credit: Purple Sherbet Photography
Too many women to fall into the habit of apologising for
just about everything.
How many times do you say “sorry” every day?
We apologise when we want to keep the peace; when we don’t know what else to say; when we run into the doorframe.
Overusing “sorry” is a bad habit for 2 reasons:
1) It starts to take away from the real meaning of the word.
2) It can cause you to take responsibility for things out of your control and lead to lowered self-worth and increased frustration.
It’s time to break the cycle of apologies. Here are 12 things to stop apologising for. Now.
1. Being yourself
You are who you are. Don’t apologise for being yourself. Maybe you have a quirky sense of humour; maybe your laugh loudly; maybe you can’t always control yourself around brownies. Whatever the case, the people who love you will stick around no matter what. Apologising for your individuality will only make you feel bad about yourself.
2. Turning down an invitation
You have the right to choose what you do and don’t want to do. It’s time to start exercising this power! Anyone with half a brain will appreciate that you are a busy person who (shock-horror) also needs to sleep. You can’t be everywhere all the time. Don’t make excuses for missing a catch-up, and resist the temptation to apologise.
3. The amount of money you earn
Apologising for your income – high or low – is fruitless.
You may not earn as much money as you would like to, but you’re doing the best you can.
You may be raking it in and feel guilty for a friend who works just as hard but is earning half as much.
Whatever the case, it is important not to measure worth by your earnings. Apologising for the money you do or don’t make can put you in the habit of doubting yourself. Don’t.
4. Your achievements
You deserve to feel pride in your achievements – don’t quash your moment by trying to pander to the feelings of others. Your hubby may feel bad for a day when you beat him in a tug-of-war. But that doesn’t mean you can’t feel stoked that YOU BEAT HIM IN A TUG-OF-WAR.
Remember that your triumphs and feelings are as important as anyone else’s. Give yourself the right to celebrate!
5. Your emotions
We all express our passion, our frustration, our anger and our enthusiasm in different ways. Many women say sorry when we get upset about something that means a lot to us. You should never have to apologise for how you feel – whether it’s happy or sad. If you shed a few tears in the process, big whoop! Better out than in, we say.
6. Focussing on your career
Men are expected to be career oriented. But when women have a similar focus, we are often accused of being unladylike, a ball-breaker or an uncommitted mother.
Don’t apologise for your focus and ambition. Don’t feel guilty for going after your goals. Own your career and take pride in your success.
7. Other people
When a friend, a family member or a co-worker does something stupid, it can become habit to apologise and take the blame. But you know what? Their actions are out of your control. Don’t apologise for the negligence, the ignorance or the missteps of others. That’s their job – not yours.
8. Saying sorry
You slipped up, and you apologised. Things are made right, but you still feel bad. So you apologise again, and again and again. Then when the other person asks you to stop, how do you respond? By saying sorry. Yep. Apologising for apologising is a thing.
By apologising repeatedly you can turn a considerate gesture into an annoying one. Any reasonable person will accept it, forgive you and move on. If you continually apologise it makes it difficult to leave the past in the past.
