Knowing Who To Trust

Hands, Cliff

 Photo Credit: Marina del Castell

Trust is the cornerstone of every worthwhile relationship.
It is what allows us to share, to grow, to feel intimacy and to form bonds.
When we trust someone we take a risk. Usually, this risk is worth the outcome – but not always.
Just ask Julie about the financial problems caused by her ex-husband!
It doesn’t matter whether betrayal occurs on an emotional, physical or financial level – a break in trust sucks.
It leads us to questions like How could they do this to me?
And the inevitable Why didn’t I see this coming!
The thing about broken trust? Even though you may cringe to admit it, chances are that you did see it coming – you just didn’t want to believe it.
Seeing the good in people is an admirable quality that opens you up to the world.
But it can also prove semi-destructive if trusting too readily leads to exploitation and hurt.
This makes knowing who to trust and who not to trust a darn handy skill.
Here are five warning signs that someone isn’t as trustworthy as they may first appear.

#1. Things don’t quite add up

On the surface, this person seems fantastic. Real-world, passionate, down to Earth.

But, there was that one comment they made about their past that didn’t quite make sense.

That one time they skipped out on an important event at the last minute.

The little piece of personal information they spilled about you to a friend.

You do your best to forget about these instances and focus on the now. But you can’t quite get the small, seemingly insignificant problems out of your mind.

Why? Probably because they are more significant than you are giving them credit for.

#2. They have broken the trust of others before you

A red flag when it comes to reliability is a trail of broken trust in the past. Be wary if a person you are welcoming into your life seems to have a track-record of ending friendships or relationships on bad terms.

Yes, stories can be twisted and details fudged by both sides – there is usually no way of knowing exactly what happened.

The past is the past. Everyone deserves a second chance. But if there is a consistent pattern of bad behaviour, think twice before letting your guard down.

#3. Your loved ones are concerned

Sometimes it’s hard to see deception when we are too close to the situation. Let someone you respect with an objective point of view chime in.

There’s no harm in getting a second (or ninth) opinion.  The people you trust can be highly perceptive when it comes to what you need. They are usually able to see things that you can’t.

You may not necessarily like what they have to say. But you know what else? Chances are that in your heart of hearts, you already know what their answer about that will be.

Good or bad, it always helps to hear it from somebody else.

#4. Your gut is telling you that something is wrong

Everything is running along smoothly, but something still doesn’t feel right.

You can’t pinpoint why this person makes you nervous, but you just can’t shake the idea that things aren’t as they seem.

Don’t shrug off the instinct telling you to tread carefully. Listen to it – it’s usually right. 

 

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