It was 2004 and I had just returned from an amazing overseas holiday with my loving husband and my two gorgeous children. What happened when we returned home was a terrible shock to all of us. It seemed my husband (or now ex-husband) was not the man I thought he was and things began to unravel very quickly. I discovered that the man I was married to had debts all over the countryside. Worst of all, my ex-husband had borrowed money off my parents and my brother, with no real intention to ever pay them back.
What resulted after much heartache and a complete life change was many years struggling, being forced to go bankrupt, losing my award winning business, losing my home, my car, my investment properties and having to start my life all over again. Dealing with a relationship breakdown is hard enough without finding out that my whole marriage was a lie. The implications it had for my children, and the struggles it took to keep their life as normal as possible, whilst also keeping them in their private schooling were unimaginable. It also left me with a bad credit rating, which even now is like a disease that keeps reoccurring, whilst I am trying to rebuild and get ahead.
I have had too many sleepless nights to ever really feel I get a peaceful sleep, even now many years on. I spent a long time after I kicked my husband out (after finding out the extent of the debts and lies) dealing with people chasing me for money who couldn’t find him, dealing with the disappointment and the devastation this man caused not only to me as his wife, but the disappointment and heartache it caused my children, as well as the heartache and stress it caused my parents and the family fall out that also occurred as a result of the debts my ex-husband created.
No amount of money will ever bring back the close family ties we all had; no amount of money will ever bring back my trust in people, or quell my desire to protect my children. I feel like nobody will really understand what I have been through. To feel like this, you need to walk a day in my shoes.
I have experienced infidelity, separation, divorce, legal issues, bankruptcy, low self-esteem, children’s issues, tax issues, Centrelink issues, child support – any and all of the emotional baggage that weighs on you when life as you know it changes.
There are two key things I have learnt:
- The worst thing to have in life is to have no options
- Knowledge is power and helps you find clarity in your life
So I am hoping that Clarity Road will help someone who has been in any of the situations I have, to realise that in fact there are options (even in a bad situation), and that you can educate and arm yourself with knowledge to make sensible and informed decisions to better your life.
I am not a professional counsellor or psychologist, and I am not offering professional advice through Clarity Road. However, I do feel passionately about helping others who have had the misfortune to have had life experiences that I wouldn’t wish on others. So if this site can help give even one person the direction they need, then I am happy, and I will feel that what I have gone through has not been in vain.
I am living proof that you can get through it and still keep your sense of humour, your dignity, your sense of self and STILL be a great role model for your children. I am a great believer that it is not how you end up when your world turns to dust, it’s how you behave as you are going through it that really matters. It’s the way you hold things together for your children…try and keep life as normal as possible and make the best of a bad situation. When life throws you lemons and you have kids all you can do is make lemonade – nothing else is an option!
You can do this, You can get through this bad time, you can have the life you want to have…the key is YOU…you can do it….it’s up to you…..be the change you want to be. I made it – I am a successful, resourceful and resilient woman, who is now truly happy and loved and content with my life, now that I have reached my light at the end of the tunnel. I hope I can help you reach yours.
Take your first step on your journey with Clarity Road.
This site is dedicated to my family.
To my amazing parents – whose never ending love and support has made me the person and loving mother I am today. My life – regardless of the heartache caused by my relationships, has always been filled with laughter, love and a never ending desire to be the best I can be…all thanks to my parents.
To my darling children Bethanie & Oliver – the two of you are my everything, my reason for always being the best version of me, and my motivation for putting one foot in front of the other in the early times when every day was a struggle to face. You have ALWAYS been my light at the end of the tunnel, and the two of you are, and always will be, my greatest achievement.
To Matthew – thank you for being YOU, the best and most decent person I know. I am blessed that you chose to love me, and love my children in such a way that restored our faith in love and trust. You put laughter and goodness back in our lives, and you make every day a happy day.
I would also like to make a special mention to all of my amazing and supportive friends and relatives who gave me never ending love and support. I wish I could mention you all by name, however I am very lucky to say that there are too many of you, and I really do appreciate you all being in my life.
Last but not least I would like to especially thank some very dear friends who went above and beyond for me – the McMahon family, Donna & Peter Kent, Anne McGregor-Lowndes, and Gayle & Dave Gaffney…you have all given me the greatest gift anyone can give another person – you helped me when I needed it most, and you always believed in me.